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This post is based on an episode of The Glow Up Guide Podcast. Press play below to listen, or keep scrolling to read the full article.

Welcome!

Every summer, we’re told the same thing: reinvent yourself.

Get fitter.

Look prettier.

Be more productive.

But what if the glow up that actually changes your life has absolutely nothing to do with the way you look?

Every summer, social media tells us that we need to become prettier, skinnier, more productive, and have our entire lives together.

But true happiness and confidence don’t magically happen like this. 

You can completely transform your appearance and still feel insecure. It comes down to confidence.

What good is “looking prettier” if you don’t actually believe in it? You have to have confidence in yourself to actually glow up this summer. 

Internal glow ups are about so much more than just your appearance. It’s about changing how you treat yourself and experience your life.

Internal glow ups are less aesthetic, but they’re usually the ones that change your life more. 

What an Internal Glow Up is NOT

We always see stuff about physically glowing up for summer. That’s been around for a while. But internal growth has also become overly aestheticized online.

This is creating unrealistic standards even for internal glow ups, which certainly doesn’t help. 

There was the “that girl” trend, pretending to have your life together, “fake it til you make it”, toxic productivity, thinking healing never means struggling—the list goes on and on.

Social media is trying to box something in that can’t even be boxed in. 

An internal glow up is not about becoming perfect. It’s about becoming better, one baby step at a time.

You are working on yourself to achieve a better, healthier version of yourself. That’s what an internal glow up really is. 

Spend Less Time Comparing Yourself

I once heard that comparison is the thief of joy. One of the truest statements I have ever heard.

Comparison has a way of making even your biggest achievements feel invisible.

Comparison destroys confidence faster than anything else. 

As students, we are constantly surrounded by pressure and expectations that we never asked for.

There’s always pressure to get better grades, work harder in sports, get a job, turn everything in on time, maintain your appearance, and so much more. 

The pressure is insane sometimes. There have been so many days when I finished all my work, maintained my grades, and still felt guilty for taking fifteen minutes to rest. That’s how deeply productivity culture can get to us. 

We constantly see high schoolers on social media with published research, insane extracurriculars, or some other impressive achievements. This can make us feel really behind. And the feeling sucks. 

But what we don’t see online is the sacrifices, failures, and struggles behind these great accomplishments.

Social media is only a highlight reel, not real life. We don’t see the bad days or failures, but those are a part of life too. 

You can’t build real confidence if you’re stuck comparing yourself to everyone else who seems to be doing better than you.

This puts you into what I call the comparison trap, and it’s really hard to get out. Don’t get into it in the first place. 

Learning to Enjoy Time Alone

A lot of people are terrified of being alone because they don’t know how to enjoy their own company. I was one of those people and still kind of am.

As a true extrovert, it’s hard for me to be alone. But learning how is vital to building confidence. 

We can’t just seem to sit with our thoughts for even a minute. We always seem to need distractions, constantly checking our phones for notifications that never come, and always creating noise to escape our thoughts. 

If your phone has become your biggest distraction, my 5 digital detox strategies that actually worked for me can help you spend less time scrolling without feeling deprived.

Being lonely and being alone are not the same thing. Spending time alone can be kind of uncomfortable at first, but it gets easier.

Need ideas? My anti-doomscroll bucket list with 100 fun things to do instead of scrolling is full of screen-free activities you can enjoy on your own or with friends.

Solo walks, journaling, or working on your hobbies are all great ways to spend time alone. Learn to enjoy your own company. 

Changing Your Self Talk

The way we talk to ourselves matters so much more than we think. We often speak to ourselves in ways that we wouldn’t be caught dead doing to others.

That says a lot about the nonsensical beliefs we are fed. 

We tend to say the most negative and evil things to ourselves. We tell ourselves that we’re ugly and stupid and behind. It’s a really crappy feeling. It also impacts your confidence so much more than we tend to realize. 

When you keep on repeating these negative things to yourself, your brain will eventually internalize these things.

At that point, these things don’t become passing thoughts but beliefs ingrained into your brain. 

I don’t mean fake positivity all the time. You’re allowed to feel a little bit low. And don’t beat yourself up over those negative thoughts either. It happens to the best of us.

You just need to control it and make self hatred less of your normal. 

A great first step is choosing not to ignore these negative thoughts. Acknowledge them and understand them.

Actually pay attention to them. And then try to replace it with something a little bit less harsh. 

Just like negative thoughts can become your normal if repeated enough times, positive thoughts can too.

Think positive thoughts often enough, and eventually that becomes your mindset. 

Protecting Your Peace

Protecting your peace is probably one of the most important things to do in order to have a major internal glow up.

Your peace and your energy are valuable and limited, so don’t go around wasting it on nonsense. 

One great way to protect your peace is distancing yourself from draining people. This is a really important one because the people you surround yourself with eventually influence who you are and who you become.

Choose carefully. 

If you have a “friend” who does nothing but drain you, yet you can’t seem to actually do anything about it, eventually you’re just gonna lose all your energy.

You feel so done with this person but can’t physically bring yourself to do anything about it. 

These are the people you may need to create some distance from in order to protect your own peace. Always choose to protect your own peace, even if it’s uncomfortable. 

The Gradual Build

On social media, we always see people waking up at 5 am with these insanely productive morning routines.

We seem to think that’s what we should be doing too. But this all or nothing productivity culture can really get to us sometimes. 

Gradually building good habits will always win, every single time, over a quick burst of motivation that leaves three days later.

It’s unsustainable, and once you quit you end up feeling unbelievably guilty. 

So choose to build the tiny habits that will actually help you in the long run over running with the quick bursts of motivation that die quicker than they come.

If you’re wondering what those small habits actually look like in practice, check out my realistic summer routine that actually works for a simple routine you can actually stick with.

One percent improvements are the ones that last. 

Create a Life You Actually Lov

Another huge part of an internal glow up is building a life you actually like living. As a student, it’s really easy to make that your entire identity. There’s next to no time for literally anything else. But it’s so important to make that time. 

Hobbies are a big part of this. We all have at least one hobby we do just for the fun of it. I like to bake, read, and podcasting (my favorite one!) counts as a hobby.

Make sure you take the time to do the things you truly enjoy. 

Take the time for any personal projects you may be working on as well. If you like to write songs or create content or anything of the sort, it’s super important to make sure you are making time for these things. 

Your life shouldn’t be something you can only actually enjoy during school breaks or after reaching a goal.

If every day feels like something you’re just trying to get through, that’s a sign something needs to change. 

Realistic Expectations

An internal glow up isn’t quick or easy. But that’s because it’s never supposed to be. Healing from the inside out takes a really long time, but at the end of the day, it’s so worth the struggle. 

I’m sure you all have heard by now that growth isn’t linear. It’s not a straight line. It’s a path with tons of ups and downs and twists and turns.

But that doesn’t mean your progress is invalid. 

Sometimes you’re gonna have some bad days. But that’s perfectly okay.

What actually matters is whether you choose to get back up and get right back at it or let the little slip ups decide your fate. 

If you’ve fallen off track recently, my ultimate mid-year reset guide will help you rebuild healthy habits without starting completely over.

Conclusion

Internal glow ups aren’t always pretty, but that’s because they aren’t supposed to be.

An internal glow up is a long, sometimes difficult journey, but it’s a journey that is ultimately so worth it. 

Most growth happens quietly, and it’s not always visible or immediate. But confidence is built through habits, mindset, and self-respect.

The best glow ups aren’t the ones you get compliments on. They’re the ones that finally make you feel good in your own skin.